September 2021

August has ended, and as almost always happens around this time of year, September has begun. I find September to be a month without a clear identity. It is no longer quite summer, but it is also not quite autumn. Were you to show up at a friend’s house in late September wearing your swimming costume and carrying a beach towel, you would seem rather strange. Doubly so if your friend does not own a pool. But “by the same token”, anyone who decorates their living space with plastic autumnal leaves purchased at a steep discount during last year’s post-seasonal craft store sale before at least October 1 runs the risk of being officially dubbed “neighborhood oddball”.

If you happen to live in the southern hemisphere, simply reverse these ideas and they should still hold true. Similarly to how when you travel north of the equator you have to flip your watch upside down.

But despite September’s identity crisis, I am still hard at work investigating McDonald’s Pizza. Specifically, the question of whatever happened to it.

For those who may be unaware, the weekly live broadcast of Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald’s? Radio has begun at Every Thursday night / Friday morning at midnight EST, this variety show (which includes the week’s episode of the regular Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald’s? program) will air once and once only (not including any encore broadcasts). Only Patreon patrons will have access to archives. So please adjust your late night schedules accordingly.

The first episode of Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald’s? Radio featured a curated selection of fine music, a tribute to my mentor Art Bell, and a segment devoted to interesting trivia regarding the film Willow 1. Future episodes will be full of even more fascinating surprises. I would also like to feature the creative work of my regular listeners. So if you would like your musical recordings, spoken word performances, or arrhythmic throat noises to air on the show, please send them to

More directly related to my investigation, I believe I have made some major “breakthroughs” regarding the true reason why McDonald’s stopped serving pizza, and I hope to chronicle those developments on the program during the rest of this month. I also have plans to continue my educational efforts by releasing the sequel to my award-worthy short film “Better Days”, in which the character Ronald McDonald’s and his new ward Crepe continue their adventures in baking and selling McDonald’s Pizzas.

Thank you for your support.